isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize