I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
