He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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