"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
