I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
