i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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