Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
