no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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