If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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