the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
BRING THE BAGELS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
