I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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