The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Can I color on your dick again?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
