i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I'm passing your future prison.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
