I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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