WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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