dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize