wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
