Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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