Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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