i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
