just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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