Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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