vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Church boner. Awkwardddd
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
