dude i'm inner monologue high
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
