those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
