I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
