you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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