I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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