did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
