i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so let's talk penis.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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