I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
