I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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