I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
