dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
