I want to have your abortion
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
