your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
