mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
