ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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