ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
