Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize