But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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