A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
