And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Still dying that you shit outside
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
