Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
