I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
