In the future we'll all be gay
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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