i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
