If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
