His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
