So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
