i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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