He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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