i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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