Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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