We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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