Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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