Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
