ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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