i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I could fuck to npr.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
