I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
