I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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