all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Randomize