So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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