we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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