I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
