i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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