it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
